Category Archives: Life Skills

The Life Skills category establishes an understanding about the “sandbox of life”. Everyone is in the box, young men of color have to understand how to conduct themselves in it.

Understanding the 2016 Oscar boycott

If you haven’t yet heard, there is a boycott of the 2016 Oscar awards by many of the black/African-American actors. This year there were no nominees of people of color. I think it’s important to understand what the boycott is about and also what you can learn from this event.
Before continuing first, I’m going to use the terms; minority, color, black, African-American interchangeably. I will also use the term boycott to withdraw from commercial or social relations with (a country, organization, or person) as a punishment or protest.
This is a very hard subject to discuss without touching on so many other issues involving perception, power, politics, control, and wealth. I’ll attempt to stay on course and not pull you into something militant or angry that dilutes the message. I believe, my reaction to subtle and obvious racism can be explained without it just being a emotional reaction. I would hope that our young men of color would have a different reaction based on their experiences. The younger generation may not understand the history and passively assign behavior to “the way things are”.   So when I explain the components of this boycott I want to try to give a better understanding of all the related pieces of this racial derivative that constantly affects people of color. My desire is that you come to your own conclusion after you’ve completed your own personal examination of a system that benefits from your existence but grants no honor to your contributions. My reasons may or may not be valid to you but they are MY reasons, find your own reason to boycott…or not, but do it for the right reason.
First, I haven’t watched the Oscars since Denzel and Halle won in 2002. Why? Well…let’s go back. The country had just been attacked 6 months prior on Sept 11, 2001 and all of sudden black people weren’t the most threatening thing in our society. It seemed ironic that all of a sudden we get, not one Oscar, but two! Oh it get’s better, not only did we get two awards that evening but the award went to the worst representations of black people.
Halle didn’t get an award for her portrayal in “Frankie & Alice” which was probably her best work, she gets the award that evening for “Monsters Ball”. A tale of a racist white man, Hank, who falls in love with a black woman named Leticia(Halle). Ironically, Hank is a prison guard working on death row who executed Leticia’s husband. Seriously?!
Moving on, let’s look at Denzel, he wins for portraying a crooked murdering undercover cop. Denzel was awarded for “Training Day” not for some of the other great works he has been in like;  Soldiers Story or Malcom X.
Based on the history of the nominations and winners, the award show has always endorsed or validated the most vile and subjugated examples of black existence.

And the Oscar for best actor in a lead role goes to…

Denzel Washington – A story about a black crooked murderer cop that trains other cops to be bad.

Forest Whitaker – A story about a vicious black lunatic paranoid murdering ruler.

It does not go to…Denzel for “Malcolm X” or Will Smith for “The Pursuit of Hapyness” or Don Cheadle for “Hotel Rwanda”.

And the Oscar for best actress in a lead role goes to…

Halle Berry – A a poor black Southern woman who falls for a white widowed prison-guard after the execution of her husband.

It does not go to Dorothy Dandridge for “Carmen Jones”, or Diana Ross for “Lady Sings the Blues”, or Cicely Tyson for “Sounder” or Angela Bassett for “What’s Love got to do with it”

Yes there are some winners that made us proud in their portrayal, like Sidney Poitier and Morgan Freeman and Whoopi. It’s just that all to common where we are validated with the most flawed representation of people of color. The role is always a role the establishment is comfortable with perpetuating.

If you’re a man, you’re always the representation of brute strength muscle or some comedic slant. You’re NEVER the intelligent lead character that the runs the successful mission. If you’re a man in some position of authority there’s always some blunder associated with your leadership.

You’re the guy the didn’t set the timer correctly in the mission, you’re the president that didn’t issue the command, you’re the prankster that is never serious.

I’m not saying that this is the case across the board in ever story line, but the majority of the time, it’s the African-American that’s either the most violent, or he’s killed first.

Some time you’ll see the sacrificial lamb saying, “Save yourselves!”

Save yourselves?! Seriously?! I’m trying to survive too…but that’s my point in this industry at every turn black lives don’t matter. That’s the message that’s constantly embodied.

Thank God for the yellow M&M because if there was a black one, I’m sure everything would be blamed on him.

So I say that to ask, why place value in a system that validates your existence as the least intelligent, most violent and lacking the capacity to efficiently fulfill any leadership capacity? I’m not talking about what’s correct, I’m talking about perception. Unfortunately, misrepresentation is a part of our culture. Since the movie, the “Birth of a Nation” and that movie’s depiction of black men, we have been constantly positively underrepresented and negatively over-represented.

Why watch “programming” that does not represent me?

Let’s continue, I haven’t watched the Grammys since about 2002 either. Why?! That was the year India Arie was nominated for 7 Grammys and didn’t win one…not one.

The last award that she could win was for best record of the year. I never forget it,

And the record of the year goes to Walk On -by U2.

India was crushed. She and U2 were both backstage waiting. When they announced U2, Bono and the gang were trying to pull her on stage and she refused. All 7 and nothing. I was mad, disappointed but I realized something in my anger. This was about control. India Arie’s album “Acoustic Soul” was positive. The songs, “Video, Brown Skin, Strength Courage and Wisdom” were all positive. Think about her message…think about what she was singing about. It’s not a safe place for the establishment to say to blacks that it’s ok, not to wear weaves, it’s ok to feel beautiful with dark skin. It sounds crazy but think about it… India Arie was singing melodic black panther tracks. It was lovely, it was nice and it was definitely pro black. It wasn’t anti-white, but when you have blacks thinking positive, that changes everything. Her musical affirmation was healing uplifting people and if the establishment needs to keep people broken you can’t endorse the philosophy, you can’t award that album. 

You may think, well…that’s a stretch. I don’t think so. When blacks are multi-billion dollar contributors to 3 industries; the justice system, the prison system and weaves. You can’t systematically endorse anything that aligns against billions of dollars.

The establishment will endorse a story about a submissive maid or a corrupt cop or even a story about a rap pimp and his prostitute girlfriend but it will not endorse a beautiful positive black person. India spoke about the loss and how it increased her fan base, imagine if her fan base, millions of women, all of a sudden stopped buying weaves and started focusing on positive things. That is a distraction from being the multi-billion dollars contributors that we need to be for this system.

“The real job in this world is to be you.” – India Arie

Getting back on par, boycott if you want but be careful.

So when you boycott something anything, be aggressively aware of what you are excluding yourself from or aligning with. The established actors that have double-digit millions in the bank can boycott because they’ve established themselves. Young actors, new to the industry, should NOT boycott unless they can deal with not being considered for an Oscar ever again. It may be career suicide for young black actors trying to get established. Those young actors taking this stance and boycott may find life a little harder. You can’t go up against the system that influences your career, you livelihood in hopes that they overlook your little protest. Also understand, if you’re an actor and you NEVER get an Oscar, then quite possibly you  will never get those Oscar paychecks.

MPM

“To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscience is to be in a rage almost all the time” James Baldwin

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Movie Review: “In My Father’s House”

When Caitlyn and Charlie from PictureMotion people contacted me to do the review, I was very skeptical. I didn’t think I could really provide an open-minded review while harboring assumptions about the movie. My assumptions had nothing to do with the movie but everything to do with the consistent reminders of the black male existence in America. My dilemma is with our never-ending challenge to find success in any aspect of our lives, while at the same time, changing the dialogue from defeat and pity to prosperity in a system of systems that are poised against us.

“In order to break a cycle you have to deal with the pain of what ever trauma that you’ve been through.” Donnie Smith(Wife)

They sent me a screening link, and I figured if I can get through the hour and thirty-three minutes it might be something to discuss.

ShareYourTruth-20I set up to passively watch the movie while doing my ironing for the week. I put up my ironing board, iron is hot, movie starts, I pick up the iron…

I didn’t touch any of my shirts, I didn’t iron not one article of clothing. I immediately put the iron down, picked up a pen and started taking notes. I watched the movie twice.

The movie makes the immediate distinction of what it’s not about; Rhymefest’s career, his latest album, another rapper grasping for any glimpse of that first taste of fame. For the first twenty minutes, I could not look away. If I would have tried to iron a shirt I would have burned it. Through my own research I find that Che “Rhymefest” Smith won a GRAMMY award for co-writing “Jesus Walks” with Kanye West. He’s also won an Oscar for co-writing “Glory” with Common and John Legend. The movie is not about that at all, but this movie is definitely his best work.

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“I started something that I can’t turn back.” Che Smith

This movie introduces the unspoken dynamics that exist at the core of the individual and most families. These issues are inherent barriers to a man understanding himself. Like Che, I had some unresolved issues in my past that needed to get addressed. I didn’t know my entire father’s side of the family until I was about 14 years old. I didn’t know why they never sought me out. When I met them, I learned and understood where most of my behavior and traits originated. It was like finding my dna, when I met them…I felt complete.

The movie embraced me on levels of masculinity that I didn’t expect. There were iconic images of fatherhood that made me appreciate the viewing; chess playing, the haircut, the dialogue.

“Sometime it ain’t nobody’s fault, it’s just life.” Che Smith

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The movie takes you through the painful cycle of homelessness. It pulls you into the emotional layers of single parenting, mentoring, juvenile issues, etc.   Every black child in America could benefit from watching this movie, but every person in America could reap an investment of compassion.

“I wish I was there more too.” Brian Tillman(Father)

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Most documentaries are factually rigid and the camera presence introduces a sterile entity that bleaches the ambiance of the movie. Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg direct this movie in a way that you’re not led and you don’t follow. You are in the conversation as a family member in the story. I’m intrigued by the other endeavors of Break Thru Films. Kudos to these two women! Ricki and Annie are on a whole different echelon of filming, you rock!

MPM

“The only thing I did good in my life was Che.”

Brian Tillman

http://www.breakthrufilms.org/films/in-my-father-s-house-showtime

http://hiphopdx.com/interviews/id.2710/title.rhymefest-details-in-my-fathers-house-new-album-how-kanye-wests-car-crash-sparked-a-movement

http://www.inmyfathershousefilm.com/#intro

February 5, 2016

IN MY FATHER’S HOUSE was nominated for an NAACP Image Award. Tune-in to TVOne on Feb. 5 to see if we won the award for Outstanding Documentary (Film)!

IN MY FATHER’S HOUSE will be available on DVD & BluRay tomorrow on January 26th. Please watch with the males in your family.

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Million Man Marching 20 years later…

It was Oct 10, 1995, twenty years ago.

I was an undergrad student at Morgan State University, an HBCU(Historically Black College and University) and this day could possibly be “the day” for black men in my generation. We didn’t have a “I have a dream” speech or a prominent black leader or any notions of a black President. We had talked about this day in class, on the yard, at my job.  I was in living Baltimore, MD, the home of “The Wire” when it was actually happening also right after the popular live sitcom “Roc” went off the air. I never understood that why a positive black show was taken off the air…hmm. It was before the murder of Freddie C. Gray, Jr. in fact, Freddie was only about 5 years old. There were no body cams, no cell phone recordings so I can’t imagine how the notion of police corruption was even taken seriously.  Remember, this was after the 1991 acquittal of Los Angeles police beating of Rodney King, but this was before 9/11 “united the nation” so…if you remember the silent war on black men was ongoing and active. I was on the front lines in college listening to Public Enemy “Fight the Power“. Kevin Garnett was the first NBA player drafted out of high school, influencing millions of black men that they didn’t need a college education.

I was on the edge of my bed in my 380 sq ft studio apt watching the live broadcast of the event in DC as the numbers tallied up 250,000…..300,000 moving closer to 1 million and it was only about 11am, this was our day.

Days before the “Day of Atonement” I was challenged with statements…”Are you muslim? Didn’t he have something to do with the death of Malcolm X, Why can’t women attend? Are you going to work? Why does he need 1 million men? Does it cost money? What’s going to happen?” I didn’t have any answers but I needed to be there.

I was on the edge of my bed distressed because I wasn’t there and I was missing our day!

Then my friend Ed, a fellow student from Philly called me and said, “Yo Rob, you still need a ride?” I responded, “YEAH MAN, where are you?!?!” I’m around the corner.

…I’m coming down stairs RIGHT NOW!”

Me, Ed and Larry(I think that’s his name), were on our way to DC. We didn’t know the DC area but as soon as we saw the capital dome, we parked. It was on the edge of capital hill somewhere, probably about 5 miles away from the mall but we didn’t care. Adrenalin and anticipation was at it’s highest, it was a day for us and I was going to be there. We were walking so fast we were skipping, almost trotting.

On our way!!!

On our way!!!

When we arrived it was like we were on a set for a black movie from the 70’s minus the afro haircuts. Everyone was speaking to each other, all the brothers were cool, positive, and everybody was black and proud. The most significant thing, to me, was that I felt safe. It’s not that I go around feeling unsafe but imagine being among a million brothers and you know if something went down, they all had your back…that kinda safe. It was a euphoric feeling that I had never felt and I’ll probably will never feel it again.

Safe among a million

Safe among a million

Passing Money

Passing Money

1inaMillion

1 in a Million

My pride about that feeling and that event has never changed.

What bad I can remember about that day had nothing to do with the event. Everything negative happened after the event, when I made it back home. On television, the black priests were preaching against it. The other black leaders were speaking about it in disapproval, some white people were dismissing the minister as antisemitic. People were asking what happened to all the money. The Pope was visiting the area and there was some competitive debates about who had the most attendees. It was disappointing but it didn’t matter, the day went off without any violence or something we could be ridiculed about later. It was our day and I was there. I just turned the TV off and went to sleep happy.

Fists

I’m sure the event affected all men differently. I don’t know what other men did when they left the event and I don’t know if they changed their lives when they went home but for me, I joined the Washington DC Chapter of Concerned Black Men, Inc right after the Million Man March.

That was twenty years ago and today I’m the Vice Chairman of the National Organization.  Currently, I’m in the position to be elected Chairman of the board, the head of the organization. I couldn’t have ever predicted this path I’m on. I can’t even understand how it happened. I can’t say I owe the minister for my 20 years volunteer service but I can credit him for being the architect of that event and setting me on this blessed path. Since that one positive event, I’ve been fortunate to continue to have positive things happen to me. I’ve tried to be a good example to my family, friends, and youth I mentor.

I want to pull a message about this twenty year piece of my life at the risk of sounding self-righteous. I want to stress how one event can set you on a path.  Don’t get me wrong, I could have easily been set on the wrong path.

It’s just that someone sarcastically asked me, “What came out of the first Million Man March?”

At the time, I couldn’t remember that the march was the catalyst for joining the Concerned Black Men, Inc. (DC Chapter).

So I ask you…

What part of your life can you look back on a be proud of?

What path are you on?

Can you get off that wrong path before it’s too late?…it’s never too late.

What are you going to say about your life in twenty years?

Skippin

Start walking that path, if one doesn’t exist, make your own.

 

 

 

Thanks to Minister Farrakhan for being the architect of that gathering.

Thanks Ed…I owe you brother, wherever you are.

MPM

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