DISCLAIMER: I am older, so my views may be seen as old fashioned. This is my opinion based on what I’ve done wrong and in some cases, where I’ve lost the most valuable friendships. My hope and goal, as with all my blogs, is to help you not make the same mistakes I have.
(Deep inhale) Here we go…
I think our society is driven by sex, money and power. We try to fit love in there but love has been getting it’s ass kicked by those three. Who you chose to love is really up to you, even if it’s the same gender. I’m surprised to say that but that’s the world we live in. I’ve come to the conclusion that love shouldn’t have prerequisites. If you love someone, it shouldn’t be because they treat you nice or you view them as perfect, because no one is. So the quicker you find the imperfections, the faster you’ll determine how much you love them, if you even love them at all.
It’s taken me several years to recognize that love doesn’t fit in a box. It’s just love. You have to just shake your head at the disappointments because a person, just like you, is going to mess up, going to do something that doesn’t make sense, going to disappoint you
…but you still love them.
To get to that echelon of love, you have to know someone…more importantly you have to know yourself. People have been telling me for YEARS that you should be friends first…for YEARS! I didn’t listen, I just want that good stuff. LOL
The hardest break up I had was in December. It’s hard to call it a break up but we had something really special. I contributed to the break up in my own gemini ways, but I was deeply disappointed at revelations about my friends behavior. It was hard because I had grown to love her, as our friendship matured our sex become something more. My neighbor asked, “You’re the break up king…why was it so hard to get over her?!” I said…
“because we were friends.”
Before you have sex with someone you should understand what it is. Whether is lust, love or just recreational you should respect the difference. Emotions confuse people and lust, or a recreational romp in the bed gets misinterpreted as love…it’s NOT.
As I said earlier, you have to know yourself.
When you’re young and your frenetic hormones are out of control it’s hard to discern what feelings are involved. Sex is an intimate thing, it’s private, and it’s really no one else’s business. As my mom says, “That’s between the both of you and God” If you do have sex with someone, keep it to yourself. Don’t even tell your best friend. To be quite honest, people are going to know anyway. People are going to see your body language and how you interact with each other. It may very well be obvious (shrug shoulders).
My point is our society makes everything about sex and no emotion. That’s not real. Your emotions are real and tangible. How you think, feel and live is a most important thing in your life. Don’t make everything about sex, cause it really could be nothing.
“Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”
― Deepak Chopra