Sing, dance, rap, party to the negativity.

I came downstairs this morning and do what I normally do…turn on Bounce TV.

On the weekend I usually turn on the tv and have it as ambient background while I cook breakfast. My pooch follows me to the kitchen and I notice the video countdown is on. I don’t have cable so this is the only “ethnic” video programming.

I was on #7 Mary J Blige was singing about how she’s tired of some man.

Then #6 was a song entitled, “My girls” by some female group…emphasizing the solidarity of her girls.

Then #5 John Legend talking about love; Family, Country, Heterosexual, Homosexual…love.

Then #4 Beyonce “Lemonade” the video was the “Queen B” walking around breaking up cars, windows, fire hydrants, singing about how she was betrayed hurt by some, you guessed it, man. I thought queens behaved a little differently but that’s just me.

Then Bryson or whatever his name was, talking about some woman that hurt him. This dude is about 20 years old complaining about a woman…please.

What number are we on? Solange talking about rebuilding and trying…wait, honestly, I don’t know WHAT she was talking about.

Finally number #1 Bruno Mars…he was partying about money, vixens,  Vegas and Versachee(spelled it wrong on purpose). I actually like this song.

Ok…out of ten videos, what do you see? I’m not talking to you ladies, I’m talking to the young men. I’ll tell you what I see…a bunch of negativity about black men and this contentious culture with our women. I’ve done my share of hurting and disappointing women, so I’m the last person playing victim here.

My point is this;

  • All women are not gold diggers.
  • All women are not hoes.
  • All women are not cheating.
  • All women don’t dress like strippers.
  • All women are not ALL women.

Regardless of what you see on tv, regardless of what may be around you, treat women with respect. Even if they don’t act like they deserve to be respected, respect them anyway. As a man you have to be the better person, you have to lead by an example of a gentlemen. You have to want better for yourself. If you can’t make someone happy or make their lives better, keep looking. Don’t stay there making each other miserable. Find someone that will appreciate you doing something for them. Sliding off topic…anyway as I said, “ethnic” programming…and that’s just what it is…programming. That’s an interesting word because that’s exactly what’s happening. Well, don’t let videos, tv, social media or the news convince or “program” you to be negative. Keep your perspective positive. Remember All women are not All women. Find that one that’s different and put a ring on it. I need to take my own advice.

I could be blogging volumes about all the other negative influences but I chose to take a bite out of this one.



Filed under Relationships

2 responses to “Sing, dance, rap, party to the negativity.

  1. Happy New Year, Brother! Certainly, what you are stating is correct. Men need to love women and treat them respect, but women need to do the same towards men. Our relationships are “off” because of this very notion. Not only do people not understand their roles as given to them by our Creator, but some are choosing to stray as far away from those responsibilities and creating their own standards of doing things. Our boys are not being taught when they are young to respect girls and our girls are being taught that the way to get ahead is to use their sexuality and if you are a girl with no sex appeal, then you are valued much less. Once they become teens, it is too late to try to reprogram them. They have already seen and learned too much. Social media, entertainment, the environments in which they live, and lack of spiritual guidance dooms them before they actually start. We really need to have these discussions more often and more honestly, but you know what happens? We start arguing and putting each other down and pointing the finger at the opposite sex. When people start to look the issues dead in the eyes and choose to deal with them together, then we will start to make progress. TOGETHER!

    Let’s begin the reprogramming of our minds. As Queen Latifah said it, “U.N.I.T.Y.”


    • Rev J.B…YES, I agree. I attended a singles only party one night a couple years ago and we, the men and women, were arguing the entire night. Our issues have become so deep rooted, we’ve developed this common negative reflex. We are not civil to one another, it’s becoming our culture. As adults we see the huge task of addressing the issues, just imagine the challenges our young men have dealing with these issues. Thank you for your response! MPM


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