New Years Resolution: Step out of my self and be better

The point of this blog is not to get you to have the perfect resolution. The purpose is for you to understand the path to getting better through your resolutions. You have to examine yourself and target what’s lacking and make it better. I want you to get moving towards your goals through a self assessment of who you are and who you want to be. I’m personally never content in one space when I know I can do better. I try to keep moving forward in my attitude, my position and my vision. Nothing worth attaining happens overnight, so start working towards that goal. Before I get into resolutions, let me first examine the purpose of resolutions so we all can understand how resolutions originated and what they should be.

There are several origins of new years resolutions;

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. The Romans believed Janus could forgive them for the wrongdoings in the previous year. They would make promises, believing that Janus would see this and bless them in the years ahead.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.

Thanks Wikipedia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My interpretation of a resolution is some vow or commitment to better yourself. I’ve learned to make my resolutions realistic. For example, “Being a millionaire by the end of the year” is not a resolution, it may be a goal but how realistic is that really? Now if you resolve to “Save ten percent of your income by the end of the year”, that’s a good attainable resolution. Shoot maybe by the end of 10 years saving 10 percent, you may be a millionaire.

My point is that all resolutions aim at making yourself better, self-improving, and becoming a better person, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As a young man, I had role models like; my uncle, grandfather and my mother’s boyfriend. As some sort of rite of passage, I always tried to think of a resolution that would make me better as a man or husband. I mean, they knew things about cars that I didn’t know so I would learn from them. My grandfather was a hard worker so I would try to work harder and not give up quick like I usually did. My mother would say, “Don’t half do it, do it until it’s complete”.

I’ve committed to several resolutions over the past 20 years or so. This is a list of resolutions as far as I can remember.

  • Clean up my room more
  • Take out the trash when asked the first time
  • Learn how to swim
  • Get my driving permit
  • Learn how to jump-start a car.
  • Learn how to drive
  • Get a passport
  • Pay off my Macy’s credit card
  • Get accepted to college
  • Study 4 times a week
  • Learn how to cut my own hair
  • Get a part-time job while in school
  • Learn how to drive a manual transmission
  • Don’t have any babies before I graduate college
  • Don’t smoke any weed
  • Graduate college
  • Purchase a home
  • Travel outside the country
  • Whenever I need to, pray
  • Volunteer/Mentor with an organization
  • Pay my taxes on time
  • Don’t get any speeding tickets
  • Start my own company
  • Join a church
  • Lose 10 lbs
  • Learn how to scuba dive
  • Tithe regularly
  • Eat red meat once a week
  • Join a dive club
  • Run for office of my volunteer chapter
  • Learn muay thai
  • Don’t send out emails without proofreading
  • Run for an office position of my national volunteer organization
  • Start a mentoring blog
  • Purchase a retirement home

All of the previous resolutions were goals at one time. I can honestly say most of them were successfully completed. The speeding ticket one…hmmm.

My more recent resolutions were:

  • Focus on my spirituality and less on religion
  • Read twice a week, put Netflix and Amazon prime on hold.
  • Learn Spanish…still going
  • Be positive, regardless of the situation be positive, make the situation better not worse
  • Pay off all my credit cards…I paid them off once, gotta do it again and again
  • Let me try this again…do not purchase any clothing!…Not even boxer briefs
  • Interview celebrities for my blog
  • Finish 3 screenplays…uuugh
  • Investigate 3 places I would live abroad…down to two (Capetown, Caribbean, or South America)
  • Maintain 15% body fat…up to 20% but I’m 184 so maybe that’s the good fat.
  • Focus on wealth building not money…always.
  • Be happy!…pretty easy for me.

Fortunately or unfortunately, some significant things occurred this year that shook my foundation. It tells me I can’t just do the same old “focus on you” thing. I’ll still work on the above goals but I feel it’s time to heal and help my people. Let me give you an example:

As I was walking in the Costco parking lot I saw this woman’s cart in front of my car. She was an older black woman, so I walked up and politely informed her that her cart was in my way and I was leaving. I thought I was polite when I approached her. She responded, “Ok”  

As my behind landed in the seat I noticed what I had just done. I had walked past an elderly black woman trying to put bottles and a package of plastic water bottles in her trunk. I felt like an idiots that don’t hold the door when you’re 3 steps behind them. Well…before my door closed, I immediately got back out, helped her sort the individual items in the cardboard box and picked up the package of water and placed it in her trunk and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I’ll take your cart for you.” I returned her cart to the cart area and returned to my car. She was appreciative and hurrying to get her keys and stuff together. I said, “Miss…please take your time.” She said, “Bless you…Thank you”. I was mad and ashamed that I had the attitude that she was in my way.

I just shook my head in the car and realized then…I must change.

The shame of my actions wasn’t obvious and that’s what bothered me. Regardless of what I felt election night I feel right back to worry about me, what I have, what I’m doing, where am going, what I need.  At that moment, I realized and reminded myself that I have to change. I think we have veered to far off the path of what’s right. We’ve forgotten what’s important, we’ve become selfish and that’s NOT who we are…we’ve been convinced to believe who we are… but they’re wrong. I’m starting to creep out of my blog subject but you get what I mean. There’s more to discuss on this topic.

My resolution for 2016 is:

  • Be a better example, I think I’m ok, good even…but I want to be exceptional.
“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often.”
Winston Churchill

1 Comment

Filed under Life Skills

One response to “New Years Resolution: Step out of my self and be better

  1. Pingback: 2018 Annual New Years Resolution: Living free | Middle Passage Mentor

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