Category Archives: Life Skills

The Life Skills category establishes an understanding about the “sandbox of life”. Everyone is in the box, young men of color have to understand how to conduct themselves in it.

May 12, 2014 · 1:06 AM

Show your mother you’re becoming a man.

Mothers work and live to support their children, you.

They support you, they buy and cook your food, help you with your homework, clean up after you,buy you nice school clothes… iron them, get you the latest Jordans, buy gas to take you to school or practice,  throw you birthday parties, meet with your teachers, buy your game consoles with the expensive games!

On top of what they want to do for themselves, they support you first!

As a parental obligation, this is mom’s life, it should come natural as a parent. Today is mothers day and what do you do…give her some flowers, take her to dinner, on just this one day. For the other 364 days what do you do? What should you do? What is your role in the household?

This blog is not about your mom, this blog is about you. Mothers put themselves second, you need to put them first. You’re never to young to help moms out. Do more around the house. I don’t want to call them chores because everyone has to clean up after themselves. Mom doesn’t have chores, but they’re the same identical tasks; ironing your own clothes, cleaning up after yourself, washing the dishes, pumping the gas, vacuuming the carpet. Yeah, you can do that!

I’m not suggesting you do these things because you’re supposed to, I’m saying do it to show your appreciation for your one and only mommy. Go to school, do you homework, get good grades, this is all part of it. So she can feel like she’s supporting the good that you do. Your mother can feel happy with the young MAN she raised. Make her proud every day of her life, why?…for nothing that’s why. She deserves it, she gave you life.

Two last things cause my I’m spending time with my mom right now…

1> You go to  school and get good grades because you need to start being responsible for YOURSELF. Your mother can’t continue to do things for you, you have to take on the responsibilities of a man. Cook, clean, work, pay bills, pay rent…yes…it’s your turn. Do it…right now.

2> As you start to do more around the house for your mother and yourself, you’ll pick up these good habits. You’ll feel better about yourself, it’s a man thing. When you get older, these habits will attract women that appreciate those habits. There are random things that attract women, but a man that works and takes care of himself will will attract the right women.

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers and NEW mothers!

MPM

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March 24, 2014 · 5:49 AM

Suicide is NOT the answer, option or choice!

First…

I’m not a doctor, psychologist or professional counselor of any type.

I’m just a man. Regardless of my success or failure in life I feel lucky and blessed to be able to live my life.

What I’m sharing is nothing trivial or easily dismissed. I try to speak to young boys of color but for this subject, I want to speak to anyone that is considering suicide.

I don’t care if you’re adopted, an orphan, poor, rich, on drugs, pregnant, failing in school, don’t know who your father is, don’t have any friends, smart, pretty, popular, funny looking, acne faced, disabled, deaf, blind, getting bullied, fat, overweight, lonely, or just confused, you have no reason to give up. When you give up, you give whatever was bothering you, victory. You let it win when you give up, and maybe right now, you’re feeling weak cause you’re thinking about it. Don’t think about it…take a nap, rest, and if you’re still thinking about it when you wake up, I guarantee that the problem won’t be as big as it was before you went to sleep. I’ll tell you why…because the more you suffer and overcome, the stronger you get. Whatever problem you thought was big is only going to get smaller. At the moment you get past this, you’ll feel stronger. You just have to get around, over, through this small problem. Sounds crazy I know, but stop focusing on the problem, stop focusing on the obstacles or hurdles…focus on your life and living and what you’re going to do with it.

I never talked about this, ever, to anyone, ever. It was such a brief thought I guess I want to block it out but it did happen.

At 13 years old, my imagination was limited. I came from an environment where I was the only black kid in my entire grade and now it was the opposite. I was living in Philly, I had just moved from New Jersey and wasn’t adapting well to an all black middle school.  I was nerdy and I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t cool or popular. I was funny looking, I talked proper, I didn’t have any cool tennis sneakers or clothes and was awkward around girls…and on top of that, I actually like playing tennis. Black kid, in the hood, nerdy, and could barely play basketball.

I considered giving up.

My mother’s boyfriend had a pistol and I thought about it. Not seriously thought about it but wondered what would happen. Then at that moment I realized that there was no way I would know what would happen afterwards because I wouldn’t be here…duh! I guess I was too nosey to give up, I wanted to know what would happen in this life of mine.

I had not experienced enough of life to understand how much fun life will be later. Yes there have been some challenges but those challenges make you appreciate life’s journey.

When I say I hadn’t experienced enough of life I mean I had not done the following…

Learned how to drive

Go away to college and be completely poor all through it until I graduated.

Went on a cruise with my uncles to the Caribbean

Fun cruise!

Fun cruise!

Uncles

Uncles

Met the bestest friends a man could have

MyBrothers

MyBrothers

Marched in the Million Man March

Golfed in Cancun, Mexico

I think I put in right in the gulf of Mexico

I think I put in right in the gulf of Mexico

Touched the Will Smith walk of fame, “Change the World”

Will Smith walk of fame

Will Smith walk of fame

Visited the Giddy House in Kingston Jamaica

The giddy house in Kingston Jamaica

The giddy house in Kingston Jamaica

Visited Rio!

Rio

Rio

Bought a house, then bought another house

1stHouse

Drove my mother to an outlet mall and said, “Happy Birthday ma, get what you want.”

Witnessed the happiest times with my favorite family members

BermudasBestTimes

BermudasBestTimes

Became President of the DC Chapter of Concerned Black Men, Inc. and then the Vice Chairman of the National Organization.

Vice Chairman

Vice Chairman

Skied down a black diamond course on a mountain.

Crazy but fun

Crazy but fun

Stayed in Bermuda at the Premiers house and partied with him and his wife on New Years

Wow!

Wow!

Learned how to sign language…well

Witnessed the election of the first black President…

POTUS

POTUS

Who happens to be cool

Cool POTUS

Cool POTUS

Probably the craziest activity I’ve ever completed…

Zip lined over a rain forest from mountain top to mountain top in Puerto Rico(Horizontal Superman style), I looked really busted in this video…it was a crazy night salsa dancing in Old San Juan, think my teeth look bad too, who cares, that much wind in your face can’t allow you to look presentable.

 

Went to a baseball game

Go Phillies :o)

Go Phillies :o)

Rescued a dog …see picture!—>

Bought my favorite sports car

Feeling good

Feeling good

Treated my friend to a trip to Amsterdam

Amsterdam with Adrian and Doug

Amsterdam with Adrian and Doug

Yeehaaa!

Yeehaaa!

Raced a motorcycle 155 miles an hour

Bought a Range Rover…it’s old, but it still a Range Rover

RangeRover

RangeRover

Met, instructed and certified by one of the most experienced black scuba divers alive, Dr. A. Jose Jones.

Scuba dived to 95 feet, and pet a shark at a depth of 60 ft

Fun

Fun

Went to Vegas

Learned how to fence…sword fight!

Wrestled the 5 time sumo wrestling champion BYAMBA…kinda. He was seriously just playing with me.

TooMuchSake

TooMuchSake

Picked him UP!!

Picked him UP!!

He's still mad at me for picking him up...OWW!

He’s still mad at me for picking him up…OWW!

Held my newborn sister or my friends first-born son.

If it sounds like I’m bragging, I AM!

I could talk about myself all day and you would not be bored…my life is fun! I could not say this at 13 years old. I didn’t even know who I was, and you probably don’t know who or what you could become. You have your whole life to define who you are…get it wrong or right, you have time. Give yourself some time. This is my point, give yourself something to brag about, your life is just beginning why put an end to it because you are having a small problem. No matter WHAT your problems is…it’s small….tiny…itty bitty compared to what’s going to happen in your life. Let it happen, give it a chance.

I was able to experience so much happiness and see different parts of the world because I didn’t give up. It’s not about money, fame or wealth, those things are nice to have but it’s the experience of life. If you ask anyone just after a trip or an experience how much something cost, I bet you they may not be able to tell you, but I promise you that they will remember how they felt about it. I’m a product of North Philly and proud of it. That’s where I started but that’s not where I’ll finish. I didn’t look for the easy way out. I’m not saying that life is easy, but it gets easier. The harder you work the easier it becomes…trust me on that fact. I can’t even remember why I thought about killing myself, I was about 13 years old and whatever the reason was so meaningless to the massiveness of my life now, it’s like comparing a mountain of a life to a grain of sand of a problem. I honestly don’t remember who that person was or what was the issue…I don’t seriously.

Remember I started stating I’m just a man. That’s all I am…nothing perfect about me, I have debt, worries, anxiety and problems but I’m still living my life. Even with all my problems, I wouldn’t trade MY life for anything or anyone else’s life. I wouldn’t trade it for a bullet, a celebrity or any amount of money. I plan on making it better every step of the way. My best days are still ahead of me, marriage, and children are still to come. Your days are just beginning, you can do some many great things. I want you all to be BETTER than me and fill your life with so much more.

Your life’s journey is just beginning. PLEASE don’t consider stopping it before it gets started. Please comment or email if you’re having any problems…I will help you out of the space you’re in, you’re bigger than that space, get out of it.

MPM

“Faith is not about everything turning out OK… Faith is about being ‘OK’ no matter how things turn out.”

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March 18, 2014 · 9:09 PM

Etiquette 101: Being bilingual, when and where to speak slang.

Etiquette: is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

You are bilingual and you don’t even know it. I’m not saying you’re good at it yet, but you are bilingual.  When adults correct you telling you to say, “Yes” instead of “yea” when speaking, they are teaching you how to be bilingual. When someone answers the phone in that formal tone, much different from how they were just talking to you, that’s bilingual.

My mother use to yell at us from downstairs, the phone would ring, she would clear her voice, pick up the phone, then pleasantly say, “Hello”. For a while we didn’t understand what she was doing, but later in life I figured out why.

Tell you how I learned the hard way…I received a phone call one day, long time ago, when the Budweiser commercial was really popular. The commercial where the guys would pick up the phone and say, “Waaass  Uuuuaaaap” with their mouths wide open. Well, I received a phone call on Saturday about 1pm, I remember because the swing shift started at 2pm. It was a Saturday so I felt comfortable and assumed that it was a friend. Well, I answered the phone…just like the commercial, forgetting that I told my boss to call me if he wanted me to come in on Saturday.

ME:   “Waaasss  Uuuuuaaaaaap”

Mr. Geiger(MY BOSS):   “Robert?! Is Robert there?”

In a split second I went bilingual…”Good afternoon Mr. Geiger, you need me to come in?”

He paused, and said, “Oh, uuh yeah, can you come in?”

I said, “Yes, I can be there in an hour.”  

I had a good relationship with my boss, he was cool but not that cool. You must understand where to draw the line. He never mentioned it and neither did I. It was slightly embarrassing and I never did it again.

Anyway, when your friends accuse you of “sounding white” it’s evidence that you are speaking correctly.  Now, I really detest when people say you’re “sounding white” because that’s just dumb. It’s not “sounding white” it’s speaking correctly. As if people of color don’t know how to speak proper english or only white people are allowed to speak intelligently. To assume that white people or any skin color is smarter than any other skin color is just asinine.

You need to be comfortable speaking properly.

When you’re at the drive thru what kind of greeting do you usually hear?

Do you hear, “What’s up, what you want to eat?” or do you hear “Good morning, can I take your order?”

My point is, there’s a time and place to use your slang or street language and there’s a time to speak professionally. The trick at being bilingual is understanding when to adjust to your environment and act and speak appropriately. There’s artistic navigation between speaking in slang or speaking correctly, you can do both but you must know the time and place. I’m not saying “dumb down” your words to fit in but know it takes courage to be different. The quicker you face this small challenge, the more prepared you’ll be for the bigger challenges.

Consider your words.

What’s up                              vs           Good morning or Hello

Na, Mm mmph                    vs             No Thank you

Yea                                           vs             Yes, Please

Holla atcha boy                  vs             I’ll talk to you later

Shorty                                    vs             Excuse me, you have a minute or Please let me introduce myself

Another true story from another point of view. Me and my friends were going to a meeting when we arrived, it was crowded. I said something like, man it’s packed in here. Another friend said, they got us in here like runaway slaves…my bestfriend Dell said, “It’s congested in here.” (record scratch) All of us looked at him like, “What?!…you couldn’t just say crowded or packed or tight, you had to go all encyclopedia brown on us with “congested”. It was funny but we knew how he was, he’s a physician now so it makes sense. I think you get my point and that point is there’s a time and place because you never know who’s listening to you speak.

I began with, “You are bilingual and you don’t even know it. I’m not saying you’re good at it yet, but you are bilingual.” I want you to feel comfortable and get better at speaking properly.

MPM

❝To have another language is to possess a second soul.❞
‒Charlemagne

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January 27, 2014 · 9:32 PM

REPOST: Movie Review: “American Promise”

American Promise

This blog was my first movie review and now my first repost.

I was emailed by Darcy Heusel, a campaign organizer and speaker for Black Male Achievement week. Darcy is a part of a conversation with film makers and American Promise influencers. There’s a campaign evolving from this movie. She asked that I re-post my movie review. How could I say no?  If you are interested in assisting in the awareness campaign and premiere parties visit the website: http://www.pbs.org/pov/about/premiere-party.php/

The Institute for Black Male Achievement is celebrating Black Male Achievement from February 3rd – the 9th. The PBS premiere of “American Promise” will be on February 3rd at 10pm Eastern Standard Time on you local PBS channel.

There are several efforts regarding more viewings across the national. An organization in Southeast DC called, “College Tribe” is hosting a viewing at 6:30pm on March 7th 2014. The location is: Covenant Baptist United Church of Christ 3845 S. Capital St. SE Washington, DC 20032. There will be food, I’m going to be there, and a youth panel discussion afterwards. Visit their website: http://www.collegetribe.org 

The Black Student Fund is hosting another viewing to take place on 1 March 2014 4:00 pm at the Metropolitan AME Church, 1518 M Street NW. Immediately following the screening there will be an open discussion. For more information please contact Mr. Leroy Nesbitt at 202-387-1414. I’m not sure if this event is open to the public. http://www.blackstudentfund.org

This is a repost of my first movie review, “American Promise”.

No spoiler alert here!

Yesterday, I was sent a link for a movie trailer:  http://www.americanpromise.org/. At first when I visited the site, I was thinking, “another sad story about our youth”. After I watched the trailer I said, “I have to see this movie, TONIGHT”  Last night I went to E Street Cinema downtown DC to watch the 7:30pm show of American Promise. http://www.landmarktheatres.com/Index.htm  The E Street venue usually shows really good quality movies that don’t just follow status quo of what is comfortable for society. You’re not going to see the blockbuster movies here but you will come away with a good discussion piece from just about any movie there. E street shows movies that hit home with a cinematic candor that you don’t want or need watered down.  The really good stories about the black experience are rarely on the major venues so I was hopeful and curious last night.

I’m not going to spoil the movie for anyone nor am I going to become a critic and inject my own opinions. My blog will always be positive so here goes.

I wasn’t overwhelmed with this movie,[that’s a bad way to start] but wait. 🙂  I didn’t come away with some new understanding of my own childhood or revelation about being a man. As a grown man, I could comprehend what was happening in the movie. The stages of maturity represented in the movie were not something foreign to me. However, to any young black male, this movie has a value beyond any movie I’ve seen. It takes the viewer through a candid journey from adolescence to maturity. You, the viewer, witness the happiness, sadness, perseverance, and triumph in the incremental years of a maturing young man. You see the repercussions of decisions both good and bad. A young black boy has an evolving comprehension, and this movie provides two real life examples of the “middle passage”. The evolution of Idris and Seun would help any young black male in these “middle passage” years navigate a little better. “American Promise” walks you through the lives of Idris and Seun. It takes you through the challenges they face through their educational timeline. The movie provides a platform where any young viewer can examine the parallels of their own lives and possibly replicate the triumphs. Any adult can appreciate this movie, but young black boys NEED to see this movie. If you have children, especially young black boys, take them to see this movie!

The movie wasn’t overwhelmingly racial, not at all. To whites without an understanding of the black experience, some movies can be slightly abrasive. Don’t get me wrong, some movies NEED to be abrasive to give a circumstance the proper relevance.  In this movie, the message was not lost in the offensiveness of the implied guilt of racism. For the average white person that may not have an understanding of the experience, this movie has a topical amount of the racial dispute. You don’t get lost in a militant message that massages just one race or gender. I was impressed by how the movie touched on so many relevant discussions and categories that parallel my concerns for our young men. I could not resist blogging about it to hope that others see this movie.

American Promise

My motivation for setting up this blog is to assist young positive black boys to manhood. I don’t exclude anyone but my target audience is young black boys. To my followers you all know this…and thanks for continuing to follow. I’ve never used the blog for a movie review but I must endorse this movie based on an aligned objective of helping young black boys.

MPM

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