Travel to change your life!

To me, one of my most single most enjoyable activities is traveling. When I discovered traveling it was after I purchased my passport and went on a long weekend trip to Jamaica. It wasn’t so much the island or destination but the journey getting there…and the realization, when I arrived, that I was somewhere else. Since I’ve begun traveling, I’ve realized that my adrenalin starts to pump when I get in the airport. It’s a weird sensation that I am in a building where people are from anywhere in the world and everyone is going somewhere else in the world. In airports, I’ve seen Dwayne Johnson “The Rock”, Music Soulchild, Spike Lee, Harry Lennix…it’s cool. An airport merges cultures, people, dialects all together. I’m sort of an extrovert so meeting people is something that I don’t avoid. I can be talkative but there are a LOT of people like that…you’ll see. If you’re the introvert…it’s ok…you’ll still enjoy traveling.
Traveling broadens your horizons and perspective of life…it gives you experiences that relate to life and living. The more you travel the more versatile you become…it evolves and matures you in ways that you can’t do sitting on the couch playing Playstation. You may not have the money to go to Jamaica or get on a plane but the more you travel within your means, the more motivated you will become to find destinations outside of your city or state. You don’t have to have a whole bunch of money to travel somewhere different in you neighborhood or city. Venture out…go to a museum, get on a different bus…just go! If you don’t want to go anywhere…ask yourself why not? What are you afraid of? What will happen if you go…I don’t know. What will happen if you don’t go..NOTHING. That’s my point your life will NOT change signifigantly if you don’t go…but it will if you DO go.

I’ve traveled to many places; Bermuda, Aruba, Brussels, Belize, Cozumel, Jamaica, Amsterdam, Rio, Dallas, St. Thomas, Baltimore, Philadelphia, DC, Virginia, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee,  St. Kitts, St. Martin, WV, Vegas, San Fran, Cabo, Florida, Haiti, Dominican Republic…you get my point.
I met Booker Mitchell, he’s a skateboarding teenager and like you, and he thoroughly enjoys and appreciates traveling. Booker received an award for “Traveler of the Year” with National Geographic…that’s awesome. He was the youngest of four recepients, his motto is “Live Life Outside”. At the ceremony, Booker shared inspiring stories about traveling around the world. His vision and perspective aligns so well with growth and maturity during this “middle passage” of life. I recommend you visit www.bookertravels.com , maybe it will inspire you to live life outside. Trust me you have nothing to lose with traveling.

For you parents, please google Heather Greenwood Davis, she’s known as the “globe trotting mama”.
She and her husband Ish recently took a year off from work to travel with her children. Check out her page also…   http://globetrottingmama.com/

Look at Jonas’ page http://jonasjourneys.com/  he has awesome pictures!

MPM

 

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Shoot Out: Steve Perry and the “Save My Son” episodes

I happened to come across an episode of “Save My Son“. The show is hosted by School Principal Steve Perry Ph. D. The show is kind of a reality show but is actually real.

SOAPBOX MOMENT: Let me first tell you that I don’t believe in wasting my time watching reality shows and the category “reality show” is oxymoronic altogether. Yes there are real activities that are filmed but the boring subject matter usually doesn’t get aired and you come away with this notion that life is choc full of fights, lies, sex, money…you name it. Let me tell you now, THAT IS NOT REALITY, that is a producer trying to make his show popular. If the show has a million people watching it, then commercials costs more to advertise, the higher the viewership the more the producer can charge advertisers to air commercials of their products. Similar to the 5 million dollar per 30 seconds for commercials for the SuperBowl. There are millions of people watching, and to air your commercial during the game, you’re going to pay. It’s all about money. The reality shows always cater to the dramatic or idiocy, it draws us in, and that’s why I don’t like it. I can’t let that energy enter my peaceful house. END SOAPBOX MOMENT

Dr. Perry man…I gotta say, I applaud you. This was the first reality show that hit me in the chest, maybe the second.  My first was “Scared Straight” on HBO see description…

“Filmed at Rahway State Prison, a group of inmates known as the “lifers” berate, scream at, and terrify the young offenders in an attempt to “scare them straight” (hence the film’s title) so that those teenagers will avoid prison life. The documentary aired on television in the late 1970s, uncensored; it marked the first time that the words “F#@!” and “S#!&” were broadcast on many networks.”
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scared_Straight!

HBO aired that show before the category of “reality show” existed. The show had an undeniable affect on me. Similar to that affect was the “Save My Son” show, it was dead on, i felt it, I connected to the child and the parents. The situation was a lot like some personal circumstances I’ve dealt with and continue to deal with, it was refreshing to say the least. I compare the show to an episode of “Good Times” or the “Cosby Show” or even the “The Fat Albert Gang” all those shows…through laughter, reflection and sadness, had a message. Yeah “Good Times” was depressing at times, and the “The Fat Albert Gang” was a cartoon but every show had a positive message…every show. Similar to “Save My Son“, this show figuratively gets in your living room and makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s like a stranger comes in your house and sits right next to you on your couch and the family has to figure out who is this stranger. The more you talk to the stranger the more you realize this stranger’s name is “Truth”. The problem is you’ve not taken an honest look at yourself or what’s happening in your life in such a long time that the “Truth” no longer is recognizable. Well on this show Dr. Perry “ain’t pulling no punches”, it’s the vestibule of “Scared Straight” and if you don’t get the lesson, that’s where you’ll be headed, to prison. A new prison reality is not an episode I want to be in.

How does this help my young brothers?!?! Take lessons from every experience, learn from others mistakes and keep moving. Why follow a doctrine that’s wrong? There are positive examples all around you, there are common sense laws that you need to adhere.  Your parents are usually telling you things, advising you because they’ve done it, sometimes wrong but why not listen to them?! They can tell you what NOT to do.  So many of our young adults think they know it all…YOU DON’T and the quicker you understand that, the more successful you’ll be, I promise. I’m not saying everything on tv is quality television, cause it’s not, but there are some shows that hit home and this show is one of them. I just want my audience to check it out…this is my shout out to “Save My Son”.

Thank you Dr. Steve Perry.

MPM

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Your clothing resume

My grandfather, “Pop pop”, on my mothers side, Voshell J. Smith,  use to always say, “Dress like you’re somebody“. My grandfather wasn’t corporate, he didn’t work in an office, he worked in construction and whenever he went out with my grandmother on the weekends, he was sharp. Suit, shoes, belt, watch, shirt, handkerchief…sharp! I would watch him clean his gold the night before he went out…it was funny. Taking pride in what he wore was something I definitely inherited from him.

My grandmother on my fathers side told me, my father would stand on the bed so when he put on his pants they wouldn’t touch the floor. I had never witnessed my father stand on the bed because he died when I was about 2 or 3 years old. When she told me this it blew my mind because I did the same thing!

What I’m saying is take pride in what you wear. Living in DC has taught me to be more conservative in my attire but I always keep my Philly swagger. Working in corporate America I learned that what you wear influenced what people thought about you.

Side note: You should not care about what people think about you but if you’re climbing the corporate ladder or networking making connections you SHOULD care about what people think about you. You develop a reputation and that should be important to you. I’ll blog about this later.

I decided to run a test on the people at the facility where I worked. The facility was huge, on any given day I would see random people. I would sometimes see the same people but not often. My test was simple; I had to pay attention to how people responded to me. For the first week, I dressed casual, and when I say casual I mean jeans or khakis, polo shirt, casual shoes. For the second week, I dressed business attire, dress shoes slacks and shirt. My watch was even conservative, nothing bulky huge or big with my dress attire, it just didn’t fit.

The first week when I dressed casual…when I walked the halls, all the janitors and facility personnel spoke to me. All the managers and people in suits didn’t speak to me. Not all of the business attire but most “managerial like” personnel, kinda looked down their noses at me. I guess I looked like the common folk, lol. It didn’t bother me because, well, it just didn’t bother me.

The second week I dressed up…when I walked the halls all the janitors and facility personnel didn’t speak to me. We didn’t even really meet eye contact…almost to the point where they avoided looking at me, like I didn’t relate to them. Inversely when all the managerial people in suits saw me in the hall…they spoke, or nodded their head in some form of a greet. It was peculiar but it made me feel good…like I was somebody, like my Pop pop said. LOL Then I thought back to the “common folk” and realized that there is a reason why they didn’t look at me or avoided me. I didn’t like that feeling but I couldn’t shake it. It’s like I remind them of what decisions they made or what they could have been. That sounds really arrogant but just because I dress at the level doesn’t make me better than anyone. I can’t help what they feel or understand it but it definitely happened and I can’t explain it. Maybe I don’t want to explain it now.

To go further…the facility personnel and janitors had very prominent tattoos on their arms and neck, baggy attire, boots…basically a non-conformist attire. They dressed real hip-hop which I thought was cool but not appropriate for the corporate office or even the hallway. I don’t have anything against this attire but when it’s out a place, it annoys me. If you own a business and you’re the boss, you can dress to your audience. You have the luxury of dressing the way you want.

The suited individuals had very conservative appearance, hair cut, shaved, even the posture was straight.

I asked one of the custodians what they paid on a part time basis and he shared the full and part time salaries. The max income the custodial staff made was about $65,000, where the corporate salaries were maxed at about $140,000. There was close to a $100,000 difference in what the corporate managers earned. The point I’m making is the income bracket difference of the custodial staff versus the managerial corporate staff was staggering. The funny thing is that I dressed like the custodial staff on the weekends. I put my Tims on and wore baggy pants, but Monday – Friday 9- 6pm I put on my corporate “uniform”.

I saw a post on the Eric Roberson Music website and  it listed twenty five basic pieces of basic fashion knowledge. Check it here:

1.    Unbutton the bottom button of your jacket. It’s not intended to be buttoned.
2.    Same goes for your vest.
3.    Remove the tags on the sleeves of your jacket before you wear it.
4.    Jackets sometimes come with white basting thread on their shoulders or holding closed their vents. Remove this thread before wearing the jacket.
5.    Jacket pockets are intended to be opened. Use a small scissor or seam ripper.
6.    More than three jacket buttons is never appropriate for anything.
7.    On a three-button coat, buttoning the top button is optional, and some lapels are rolled so as to make the top button ornamental. In other words: if buttoning the top button seems wrong, it is.
8.    Brown shoes, brown belt. Black shoes, black belt.
9.    Belt or suspenders. Never belt and suspenders.
10.  Your jacket sleeve should be short enough to show some shirt cuff – about half an inch.
11.  Your pants should end at your shoes without puddling. A slight or half break means that there is one modest inflection point in the front crease. If your pants break both front and back or if they break on the sides, they’re too long.
12.  Your coat should follow and flatter the lines of your upper body, not pool around them. You should be able to slip a hand in to get to your inside breast pocket, but if the jacket’s closed and you can pound your heart with your fist, it’s too big.
13.  When you buy a suit or sportcoat, it should be altered to fit by a tailor. This will cost between $25 and $100.
14.  Your tie should reach your belt line – it shouldn’t end above your belt or below it.
15.  Your tie knot should have a dimple.
16.  Only wear a tie if you’re also wearing a suit or sportcoat (or, very casually, a sweater). Shirt, tie and no jacket is the wedding uniform of a nine-year-old.
17.  The only men who should wear black suits during the day are priests, undertakers, secret agents, funerals attendees and yokels.
18.  Cell phone holsters are horrible.
19.  So are square-toed shoes.
20.  Never wear visible socks with shorts.
21.  Or any socks with sandals.
22.  If your shirt is tucked in, you should be wearing a belt (or suspenders, if you’re wearing a jacket as well, or your trousers should have side adjusters and no belt loops).
23.  Flip flops are great for the pool and the beach and not great for anything else. (Some say this is a matter of taste. We agree. If you have any taste, you will only wear flip-flops at the beach or pool.)
24.  Long ties are not appropriate with a tuxedo.
25.  Never wear polyester outside of the gym or theme parties.

A repost from http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com/2013/03/05/fellas-twenty-five-pieces-of-basic-fashion-knowledge-so-you-don%E2%80%99t-look-dumb/

Two things to consider:
I’d rather be over dressed than underdressed.

First impressions are lasting impressions.
MPM

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“Danger is real, Fear is a choice”

A movie came out with Will Smith and his son Jaden Smith called “After Earth“.
In the movie, Will’s character, Cypher, makes a profound statement…I’m not sure if the statement is to Jaden Smith’s character Kitai Raige, or is he making the statement outright. Cypher says,
Danger is real, Fear is a choice“.

This statement  is so applicable to life. The statement applies so well to the subtle choices that young African-American men are faced with and the balance of fear and danger in those decisions.
For most young adults the questions of;
who am I?
what do I want?
how do I get there?
what’s next?
  …are always looming.

Do I Party or Study?
Am I a Good guy or Bad boy?
Do I want to enroll in College or Military?                                     Am I going to school or prison?                                   Do I want to be a Baby daddy or Husband?

Do I have a Closed Fist or an Open Mind?                                             Do I want to Exist or Live?
                                                             …these choices will define who you are as an individual.

It’s easy to make the wrong decision because it’s the easiest…let’s just cheat and not study for hourslet’s skip class and play basketball in the gym...I’m going to mind my business and not stand up to the bully ...the right decisions are always a little harder.

With every decision there’s an element of fear and only sometimes a reality of danger. The more fear you face and overcome, the fear slowly becomes nonexistent. The habit of facing you fear builds confidence, it reduces the impact of the next challenges or future obstacles.  The sooner you understand that those fears or insecurities are NOT real, the easier it will become to make the right decisions.

Making the right decisions will change or elevate everything in your life; friends, career, money, your quality of life. I will blog about this later.

For example, when I was younger, I was a little shy and avoided speaking in front of people…I had a common case of glossophobia, a fear of public speaking. So what did I do, I enrolled in toastmasters. http://www.toastmasters.org/ It’s an organization that coaches individuals that have to speak publicly. I also enrolled in a speech class in junior college.  During the class I gave 5 speeches and learned that I actually like speaking in front of people, almost to the point where I wanted to do stand-up comedy. It’s funny what you can learn about yourself and how brave you can be when you face your fear. I developed an outspoken nature when there are matters of right and wrong. That trait got the attention of people in power and a resulting nomination for the Vice-Chair position of the National Organization of Concerned Black Men, Inc.

The unfortunate reality as a black man is that you have to recognize when Fear and Danger are heaped on you where it should not be. Society has reinforced a condition where men of color are feared and dangerous. It’s something that we have to understand, navigate and respond accordingly. Just because you are not fearless in your environment, does not indicate the people around you are not afraid. Be ever cognizant that these fears are present in people of authority over us; judges, teachers, neighborhood watch captains, state troopers, mall guards…you name it. All these representatives of law and order are inherently fearful of a men of color. Their subsequent decisions prior to making a distinction between perceived or real danger can affect or end your life. I’m not an “anti-establishment” kinda of person, but understanding societies insecurities about black men are somewhat of a rite of passage for all men of color. Without falling too far off the message understand that you must not allow fear to dictate your decisions.

Remember this when you’re on an interview,

remember this when you’re followed in a store,
                                      remember this when you get pulled over by the cops,
                                                                                                                         Remember this in life.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Author: Theodore Roosevelt

All comments welcome.

MPM

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