Category Archives: Life Skills

Inauguration Day is here: It’s time to wake up. Our “race” needs to get started…again.

Election night changed me…it made me realize what’s important. That empty pit in my stomach that night and the next morning told me I must refocus on what’s important and it starts with me and it ends with my people. Besides me initiating plans to move abroad, I immediately considered how I need to change my focus. Those of you that are under the age of 20, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your dreams and directions are still valid. Nothing has changed for you, except maybe you have motivation to do something about our race.

Wait let me be clear, I’m speaking to the next leaders of my race. I’m speaking to the kids that are doing well in school or at least trying. I’m speaking to the kids that attend class, the kids that care about doing what’s right. I’m speaking to the kids that stay out of trouble that want something better for themselves. I’m not speaking to kids that don’t value education. I’m not speaking to the wanna be thugs. I’m not speaking to kids that want to be cool over wanting to be intelligent.  I’m not speaking to kids that don’t have a dream. This is not the blog for you, I’ve heard and seen enough from you. Go to another site cause today, these words ain’t for you. Don’t waste your time here, not today. I’m speaking to the scholars, the scientist, the mathematicians, the oratory contest winners, spelling be participants, kids in class that raise their hand, the nerdy awkward kids and the loners. I’m speaking the next leaders among you.

Young people of color, time and time again, people of color that came before you and faced the harshest of circumstances, have done more to put you in this position of opportunity than you have done for yourself…and they’ve done it with less. What’s your excuse for not being excellent? Decades ago, young black kids that had one book and determination, had more than you with “Google” and an excuse.   What are you waiting for? What are you afraid of? Not being cool? Being smart? Having a job? What is it?!…because I want to know! I’ve lived half my life and I did ok but I want something…I need something to believe in today. I need you. Comment on my page, help me out here.

We now know we are not living in a post-racial America, so what are you going to do about it. The opposition has played his hand there are no new surprises.  Don’t wait for somebody to make something “great again”. Get up off your butt and do something. What’s your plan, I’ll help! You don’t need to watch any more political antics, it’s nothing new. You don’t need to rant on Facebook, the “Likes” are not important. Time for blaming is over. No more hoping, we have to start doing. We have to be better towards one another and it begins with us. We have to patronize minority owned business, we have to give to those that are not yet where we are…do it privately. Stop looking for someone to thank you or the recognition just do what’s right.

We have to support each other. We know no one else is going to do it for us and we can’t take any shortcuts. The next generation has all the metrics and data to understand what’s at stake and what’s been proven to work or not work.

We all know the shortcuts don’t last, don’t work and they don’t pay.

We all know what works and what doesn’t. We have to go back to the “Black and Proud” days where we protected and respected our women. Where we respected each other, where we cared about each other, when we spoke to each other. We can no longer blame anyone else. We know all we need to know about this wonderful country, and if you don’t know by now, you won’t ever know. Racist people don’t care about us but it’s not them that’s killing us…it’s us.

We have to throw out the excuses, throw out the ignorance, the violence, the killing and hate. We’ve been deliberately kept in the dark and lost for too long. We are not even being kept in the dark, some of use just like to keep our eyes shut. We’ve been convinced that we need to compete with each other and hate each other. We have to lift each other up.

The leaders have to stop following and the followers must stop misrepresenting us. If you can’t be positive for something, just shut up. You are not saying anything we haven’t heard before. Just take your excuses, negativity, ignorance, and victim mentality…just pick it all up and get out of the way.

I think we have veered too far off the path of what’s right. We’ve forgotten what’s important, we’ve become selfish and that’s NOT who we are…we’ve been convinced that that’s who we are but they’re wrong.

Quite simply…we have to focus on us because no one else will. You, the younger generation have to mobilize and make the positives happen. My generation is looking for the next leaders, tag…you’re it.

MPM

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

Muhammad Ali

The point of this blog is not to get you to have the perfect resolution. The purpose is for you to understand the path to getting better through your resolutions. You have to examine yourself and target what’s lacking and make it better. I want you to get moving towards your goals through a self assessment of who you are and who you want to be. I’m personally never content in one space when I know I can do better. I try to keep moving forward in my attitude, my position and my vision. Nothing worth attaining happens overnight, so start working towards that goal. Before I get into resolutions, let me first examine the purpose of resolutions so we all can understand how resolutions originated and what they should be.

There are several origins of new years resolutions;

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. The Romans believed Janus could forgive them for the wrongdoings in the previous year. They would make promises, believing that Janus would see this and bless them in the years ahead.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.

Thanks Wikipedia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My interpretation of a resolution is some vow or commitment to better yourself. I’ve learned to make my resolutions realistic. For example, “Being a millionaire by the end of the year” is not a resolution, it may be a goal but how realistic is that really? Now if you resolve to “Save ten percent of your income by the end of the year”, that’s a good attainable resolution. Shoot maybe by the end of 10 years saving 10 percent, you may be a millionaire.

My point is that all resolutions aim at making yourself better, self-improving, and becoming a better person, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As a young man, I had role models like; my uncle, grandfather and my mother’s boyfriend. As some sort of rite of passage, I always tried to think of a resolution that would make me better as a man or husband. I mean, they knew things about cars that I didn’t know so I would learn from them. My grandfather was a hard worker so I would try to work harder and not give up quick like I usually did. My mother would say, “Don’t half do it, do it until it’s complete”.

I’ve committed to several resolutions over the past 20 years or so. This is a list of resolutions as far as I can remember.

• Clean up my room more
• Take out the trash when asked the first time
• Learn how to swim
• Get my driving permit
• Learn how to jump-start a car.
• Learn how to drive
• Get a passport
• Pay off my Macy’s credit card
• Get accepted to college
• Study 4 times a week
• Learn how to cut my own hair
• Get a part-time job while in school
• Learn how to drive a manual transmission
• Don’t have any babies before I graduate college
• Don’t smoke any weed
• Graduate college
• Purchase a home
• Travel outside the country
• Whenever I need to, pray
• Volunteer/Mentor with an organization
• Pay my taxes on time
• Don’t get any speeding tickets
• Start my own company
• Join a church
• Lose 10 lbs
• Learn how to scuba dive
• Tithe regularly
• Eat red meat once a week
• Join a dive club
• Run for office of my volunteer chapter
• Learn muay thai
• Don’t send out emails without proofreading
• Run for an office position of my national volunteer organization
• Start a mentoring blog
• Purchase a retirement home

All of the previous resolutions were goals at one time. I can honestly say most of them were successfully completed. The speeding ticket one…hmmm.

My more recent resolutions were:

• Focus on my spirituality and less on religion
• Read twice a week, put Netflix and Amazon prime on hold.
• Learn Spanish…still going
• Be positive, regardless of the situation be positive, make the situation better not worse
• Pay off all my credit cards…I paid them off once, gotta do it again and again
• Let me try this again…do not purchase any clothing!…Not even boxer briefs
• Interview celebrities for my blog
• Finish 3 screenplays…uuugh
• Investigate 3 places I would live abroad…down to two (Capetown, Caribbean, or South America)
• Maintain 15% body fat…up to 20% but I’m 184 so maybe that’s the good fat.
• Focus on wealth building not money…always.
• Be happy!…pretty easy for me.

Fortunately or unfortunately, some significant things occurred this year that shook my foundation. It tells me I can’t just do the same old “focus on you” thing. I’ll still work on the above goals but I feel it’s time to heal and help my people. Let me give you an example:

As I was walking in the Costco parking lot I saw this woman’s cart in front of my car. She was an older black woman, so I walked up and politely informed her that her cart was in my way and I was leaving. I thought I was polite when I approached her. She responded, “Ok”  

As my behind landed in the seat I noticed what I had just done. I had walked past an elderly black woman trying to put bottles and a package of plastic water bottles in her trunk. I felt like an idiots that don’t hold the door when you’re 3 steps behind them. Well…before my door closed, I immediately got back out, helped her sort the individual items in the cardboard box and picked up the package of water and placed it in her trunk and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I’ll take your cart for you.” I returned her cart to the cart area and returned to my car. She was appreciative and hurrying to get her keys and stuff together. I said, “Miss…please take your time.” She said, “Bless you…Thank you”. I was mad and ashamed that I had the attitude that she was in my way.

I just shook my head in the car and realized then…I must change.

The shame of my actions wasn’t obvious and that’s what bothered me. Regardless of what I felt election night I feel right back to worry about me, what I have, what I’m doing, where am going, what I need.  At that moment, I realized and reminded myself that I have to change. I think we have veered to far off the path of what’s right. We’ve forgotten what’s important, we’ve become selfish and that’s NOT who we are…we’ve been convinced to believe who we are… but they’re wrong. I’m starting to creep out of my blog subject but you get what I mean. There’s more to discuss on this topic.

This was originally published on July 16th, 2016. I’ve modified the original version because it was an angry vomit of facts and I wanted to remove some profanity and provide a little more level headed blogging. The original text was to instigate a discussion for some sort of resolution, but I think we’re past talks. Anyway, angry blogging is never good. Please enjoy and discuss.

Starting again…

There’s been a lot going on so I’m going to just put it out there.

I just paid money to watch another movie where black people sacrificed themselves for white people. Then I started thinking…we, everyone is conditioned, brainwashed, desensitized into thinking Black Lives Don’t Matter.

Black men are dying for the stupidest reasons imaginable, Air Jordans, jealousy, cars, gold chains, North Face Jackets, gang affiliation, wear a wrong color and you get a bullet in the head. Black rappers make music about murder like it’s cool, like it’s a way of life and we dance to it! It’s all for show all for bragging rights but at some point this entertainment business went too far. We rap about dying like it’s a sport, like dying is not real. That’s just dumb. You face death every day, really?!…in your Ferrari for real?! Give me a f#$%@ break. When you start making money your tone will change and you’ll start taking pictures with cops cause your agent said it’s a good idea. Yeah but I remember that thug rapper from Cali that influenced an entire generation of young black boys to smoke weed and kill other black kids on his way to the top. After his first album, “Ready to Die” The Notorious Biggie Smalls said it best, “I ain’t ready to die no more”. This statement was quoted by the rapper right before he was shot and killed. Curtis Jackson’s album titled, “Get Rich or Die Tryin'” speaks to a destructive survival mentality.  Marvin Gaye said it best, “What’s going on?!” Whatever is going on is on purpose, it’s no mistake that black people fill up the prisons, it’s no mistake that our public schools are failing, that our food is s#!&, that we’re underpaid, overtaxed, our water is poison, and doctors experiment on us.   This corporate, political, economic system wasn’t built for us, it depends on us.

These killings at the hands of cops is not only because cops fear us but because they too have been conditioned to believe black lives don’t matter.

Do you remember March 3, 1991, Rodney King was resisting arrest for about 8:09 minutes while he got beat, almost to death, by about 6 cops…this was  BEFORE Facebook, before streaming, some of you weren’t even born yet, twenty something years ago.

What happened to those four cops…acquitted on most charges, which started the 1992 LA riots.

Feddie Grays died from a broken neck while in custody of the Baltimore police, all officers acquitted, it’s 2016 people. This also started a riot in Baltimore last year.

So…what does that tell you, that police have escalated their mistreatment of blacks, you get shot now, you don’t just get beat up.Whatever the method, you could end up dead.

Cops kill us over license tags, selling cigarettes, arguing, Amadou Diallo and Philando Castile, were BOTH killed for reaching for their wallets, this is not the first time that mistake has happened. They shot at Amadou 41 times hitting him 19 times…you think that’s a little excessive? He was 23 years old. Philando had a child in the car, you’re not supposed to take that shot with someone in the background, that’s not a safe shot. You can even hear in video where the officers yells, “F$%#” because he knows he made a mistake. My thinking is, “If you’re that scared, take that badge off and go be another civil servant, like a sanitation worker or something, any position that’s unarmed. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW cops are on edge, you’re risking your life to protect and serve and this black bastard is talking smack about his rights, smelling like weed and driving on a suspended license…yeah he’s an idiot, but he still doesn’t deserve to die cause he’s going through a bad patch in his life. I get it but some of y’all are out of control and this s#!& has to stop.

The cop in South Carolina video taped a cop placing a stun gun in place so he can justify killing an unarmed black man running AWAY from him. The cop in Cincinnati was lying about being almost run over by the guy with a hanging license tag and the other cop drove up and started lying with him immediate saying, “Yep, I saw that”…the black unarmed driver was shot for a hanging license tag are you f$%#*# kidding me?! These people are not pit bulls or  video game characters, they’re human beings you’re killing.  Oh and for you white people who haven’t been paying attention, this s#!& ain’t just start happening, it’s just now being video taped.

I heard the a quote by Dr. William Edward Burghardt Du Bois, Fisk University Class of 1888,

“A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect.”

I read this when I attended an HBCU, Morgan State University. Ever since reading it, I’ve been unsuccessful in trying to deny it. WEB Du Bois graduate college in 1888! So what am I supposed to tell college grads, that things are going to be different?! If my grandfather’s grandfather warned him about white cops then this s#!& has been going on for years, decades and for that long cops black AND white have been getting away with murder, theft, bribery, you name it.

So then what…more community rallies, more marches, more We shall over comes, neighborhoods in mourning, stacks of roses and teddy bears, sensitivity training…how many more vigils, not guiltys, apologies, lawsuits can a race take…but it going to happen again. SOMEONE, whether it’s black on black crime or a cop or armed neighborhood watcher following a kid home, another black life is not going to matter.

So how do I twist this into a mentoring moment you ask?! Well…I see it as a choice. If you want to stay a nigger you want to stay ignorant, uneducated, in and out of jail, fine. Choose a life that doesn’t matter, that’s your choice, but don’t make excuses. Don’t blame your parents, just say, “I was scared to live, I was scared to fail.” There’s enough positive examples to use to make yourself better but you can’t be a coward. Cowards stay home wasting their life away on the couch comfortable playing their video games, drinking and smoking weed into ignorant nigger bliss and not leaving his neighborhood. The real black men step out of their comfort zone and make a difference with what little they have. The raise good children, they educate themselves, they pay their bills, they have white friends over, they present themselves in a positive light and constantly fight the negative stereotypes that the media, community and cinema perpetuate. So…take your pick and whatever side you choose don’t make excuses, own it.

Either your life is going to matter or it’s not, no slogan is going to make your life matter if you don’t make it matter first.

MPM