The Life Skills category establishes an understanding about the “sandbox of life”. Everyone is in the box, young men of color have to understand how to conduct themselves in it.
When we look at Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, or Arthur Ashe we see a finished product. We see Olympians, world champions, we see greatness.
We don’t see Ali, Cassius Clay, as a kid with dyslexia, struggling with reading and barely graduating high school. We don’t see the kid from Wilmington, NC, his “Airness” that got cut from the varsity basketball team. Arthur Ashe’s mother died when he was six years old, we don’t see that pain and perseverance. Those challenges are unappreciated but that was Ali, MJ, and Arthur Ashe before they were known as great.
Greatness at its beginning is unpopular. It’s strict rules of getting home in 12 minutes after school. It’s studying harder, it’s working harder, it’s extra laps in the sun, missing shots in the rain, it’s waking up at 5am to jog 7 miles. Before all the glory of being great, there’s moments of failure and days of pain. Greatness doesn’t start with success, it starts with failure. Before sticking that perfect landing in gymnastics, it begins with blisters on your hands. Before winning one round in a fight it begins with hundreds of push ups and getting punched in your face. What we don’t see is that frustration of failure turn into motivation.
Where does greatness end? I don’t believe it never really ends, not in the end zone, finish line or on the gold medal podium. The key to greatness is where it begins. It begins with you getting up instead of hitting snooze, it begins with being the last one in the library, or the first one to practice, the only person not trying or using marijuana. When you rush home to pick up a book to study instead of turning on a game console. Yes, it’s lonely in the beginning. It begins at the learning from the failure of trying something new. There’s a quote the goes something like, “Failure is not trying and being unsuccessful, failure is not trying at all.”
So before you can be the greatest in the Olympics, Wimbledon or the Superbowl on the world stage for everyone to see, you have to learn how to fail by yourself and get back up. At it’s core greatness begins with developing better habits that teach you how to be better than everyone else. When I say everyone else, think about it…EVERYONE else.
MPM
Start where you are, Use what you have. Do what you can. -Arthur Ashe
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” -Michael Jordan
I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” -Muhammad Ali
One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. -Arthur Ashe
“To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail.” -Michael Jordan
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. -Muhammad Ali
The point of this blog is not to get you to have the perfect resolution. The purpose is for you to understand the path to getting better through your resolutions. You have to examine yourself and target what’s lacking and make it better. I want you to get moving towards your goals through an internal assessment of who you are and who you want to be. I’m personally never content in one space when I know I can do better. I try to keep moving forward in my attitude, my position and my vision. Nothing worth getting happens overnight, so start working towards that goal. Before I get into resolutions, let me first examine the purpose of resolutions so we all can understand how resolutions originated and what they should be.
There are several origins of new years resolutions;
The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.
The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. The Romans believed Janus could forgive them for the wrongdoings in the previous year. They would make promises, believing that Janus would see this and bless them in the years ahead.
In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.
At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.
Thanks Wikipedia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My interpretation of a resolution is some vow or commitment to better yourself. I’ve learned to make my resolutions realistic. For example, “Being a millionaire by the end of the year” is not a resolution, it may be a goal but how realistic is that really? Now if you resolve to “Save ten percent of your income by the end of the year”, that’s a good attainable resolution. Shoot maybe by the end of 10 years saving 10 percent, you may be a millionaire.
My point is that all resolutions aim at making yourself better, self-improving, and becoming a better person, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As a young man, I had role models like; my uncle, grandfather and my mother’s boyfriend. As some sort of rite of passage, I always tried to think of a resolution that would make me better as a man or husband. I mean, they knew things about cars that I didn’t know so I would learn from them. My grandfather was a hard worker so I would try to work harder and not give up quick like I usually did. My mother would say, “Don’t half do it, do it until it’s complete”.
I’ve committed to several resolutions over the past 20 years or so. This is a list of resolutions as far as I can remember.
Clean up my room more
Take out the trash when asked the first time
Learn how to swim
Get my driving permit
Learn how to jump-start a car.
Learn how to drive
Get a passport
Pay off my Macy’s credit card
Get accepted to college
Study 4 times a week
Learn how to cut my own hair
Get a part-time job while in school
Learn how to drive a manual transmission
Don’t have any babies before I graduate college
Don’t smoke any weed
Graduate college
Purchase a home
Travel outside the country
Pray more
Volunteer/Mentor with an organization
Pay my taxes on time
Don’t get any speeding tickets
Start my own company
Join a church
Lose 10 lbs
Learn how to scuba dive
Tithe regularly
Eat red meat 1 time a week
Join a dive club
Run for office of my volunteer chapter
Learn muay thai
Don’t send out emails without proofreading
Run for an office position of my national volunteer organization
Start a mentoring blog
All of the previous resolutions were goals at one time. I can honestly say all of them were successfully completed.
My resolutions for 2014 were:
Be positive, regardless of the situation be positive…make the situation better not worse
I think I’m at about 75%
Control my temper…be quick to listen, slow to speak…2 ears 1 mouth
Also about 75%
Wake up at 7am
Nailed it…although I didn’t say get out of the bed.
Learn Spanish
Carrying this over to the this year
Pay off all my credit cards…I paid them off once, gotta do it again
Umm paid all of them off but one by Dec 30th by Jan 1st I’m trying to pay off two
Do not purchase any clothing
Let me try this again
Go to Costco 1 a month…tops
Nailed it
Blog once per week
Nope
Learn to ice skate
Yup
Finish screenplay
Didn’t even start
Select 3 places I would live abroad (Bermuda, 1 down 2 to go.)
Still can’t think of anywhere but Bermuda, South America is a close second and maybe Capetown
Well, it’s the beginning of the year and I want to put out some resolutions that I plan on sticking to for the duration of the year. I have the intention of focusing on habits instead of goals. If I change my habits, then quite possibly I’ll meet my goals.
Listed in priority order.
Focus on my spirituality and less on religion
Read 3 books
Learn Spanish
Watch less tv
Be positive, regardless of the situation be positive…make the situation better not worse
Control my temper…be quick to listen, slow to speak…2 ears 1 mouth
Pay off all my credit cards…I paid them off once, gotta do it again
Let me try this again…do not purchase any clothing!…except boxer briefs
Interview celebrities for my blog
Finish 3 screenplay
Investigate 3 places I would live abroad (Bermuda, South America and Capetown)
Maintain 15% body fat
Focus on wealth building not money
Be happy!
If get these goals finished and by the end of the week, month, or year, I’ll have another set of goals. Even if I don’t get these goals finished, I’ll be better. Being better doesn’t mean being perfect, it means making progress and maturing.
MPM
“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often.”
There’s been debate, Facebook posts, YouTube feeds, news broadcast, and blogs about the Mike Brown killing and the unrest in Ferguson,Missouri. There’s a lot of dynamics to this incident and I want to be as transparent as I can. I want to avoid being reactive and weigh in with an analytical view. I wanted my own anger and frustrations to quell while I watched what develops. That being said, I’m not racist, but I’m aware that my love for good, civil, intelligent black people in comparisonto my lack of patience for white people who turn a blind eye to what’s happening in this “free” country can be misconstrued as racist. I’m aware of that. I have white friends that I hold close, very close, and I hope not to offend. I’m sometimes militant and my opinion on the past, present and future of race relations in this country. Black people are dying at the hands of the very people that we pay to protect, so I feel some of us could endure some brutally honest discussion and video.
The target audience for this blog is young black males. I had the challenge of addressing what’s age appropriate and what feelings do I sensor for the integrity of the blog. One day as a father, I will have this same challenge. My options are to spare the truth of the world or do I prepare him for it. Well I expressed some real honesty to the youth, YouTube speaks for itself. I’d rather scare and prepare my youth now than cry for him in the grave. To express my opinion about the subject, I have to give some examples of relevance. I may stray a little bit to make various points but stay with me. I hope all of you reading this benefit somehow.
Ok…disclaimers out of the way.
I want to get this out to my audience as to associate some reasoning with circumstances. Reasoning is used loosely here, and I apologize. There’s been much reaction to what’s happened, after Trayvon Martin being followed and killed, Eric Garner being choked on the sidewalk by cops and then Mike Brown being shot 6 times from a distance while his hands were up, reaction is what you would get from most people of color…including me. In the last months I’ve viewed so many video feeds of white police officers behaving aggressively with unarmed black citizens. I want to provide some tips to survive an encounter with a police officer.
To survive an encounter from a police officer consider these tips:
If you get pulled over, don’t make any sudden moves. When he is talking to you, before he or she approaches the car and after the officer goes back to his car, don’t make any sudden moves.
Keep your hands where the officer can see them.
Before you reach for anything, tell/ask the officer, “Can I go in my glove compartment to get my paperwork?”
Don’t have your hands in your pockets, Manuel Loggins Jr., a Marine sergeant expressed a “mean” expression kept his hands in his pockets that caused the sheriff’s deputy to shot him three times through a window in front of his daughters.
If a cop happens to be Black, African-American, Spanish, or another minority, it doesn’t mean he or she is “cool”. You still must speak to them as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Just because a cop is a minority don’t assume you can talk to them casually or like they’re your friends because they “understand black people” and they won’t lock you up.
If a cop happens to be White it doesn’t mean he’s out to get you or lock you up and you can ignore or disrespect him. Yes, he may not be in a good mood but you being disrespectful to him is not going to raise your chances of survival.
Don’t walk towards them too fast, even if it’s for 2 cans of soda, they will get out of their vehicle with weapons drawn and kill you. Kajieme Powell was unarmed, shot and killed for walking towards cops too fast…over two cans of soda.
Don’t reach for your wallet, Amadou Diallo was shot 19 times in Feb 1999 when he reached for his wallet.
Police officers don’t care what day it is, you will can get killed after your bachelor party like Sean Bell on Nov 2006. Bell was 23 years old, and was to be married the next morning.
Ramarley Graham was 18 years old when police ran in his apartment and shot him because they thought he was armed. He was in the bathroom with a bag of weed.
Don’t argue with the cops, in July 2014 Eric Garner argued with the cops and they choked him to death.
Lastly and this is the one that I feel is just blatant racism, and a double standard, if you are black do not get out of your car and approach or attempt to talk to the cop as an equal. I see white people do this all the time but I NEVER see black men allowed to do it. Don’t get me wrong, you are equal but after being pulled over is not the time to prove it.
I bring these incidents to the front to make a point that it doesn’t matter what the reason, you want to survive the traffic stop or encounter. This is NOT the time to be cool or ignorant, some cops don’t care, they face death every day and sometimes don’t have the patience for your ignorance. Yes they should be more sensitive, but that’s not what we’re talking about, we’re talking about SURVIVING THE ENCOUNTER. Also, like I said, I’ve watched many videos lately with aggressive behavior from a police officer, but I have to remind myself and consider that I may not be seeing the entire video. Some things may have happened to upset the already stressed and underpaid officer, black or white. Regardless, the officers are supposed to “Protect and Serve” however they deem appropriate.
I’m hoping that the people of Ferguson will be that catalyst for positive change but I don’t know.
A little off topic but I like this one…it’s just funny. Watch the video of a business owner being framed:
A cop may yell, “stop resisting arrest” or “stop reaching for my gun” regardless, keep you’re hands in the air unless you have video you can’t prove the you’re being framed or arrested. In this video and white police officer and a Spanish police officer beat and abuse a black man for nothing. The black man would be in jail if it wasn’t for this video.
I don’t know what to tell you, You Tube is great.
Things are getting better but just keep in mind what’s at stake when you encounter a police officer. Try to survive.
MPM
“Why is it deemed justifiable and appropriate for cops/police
officers to kill other cops (friendly–fire) and citizens?
Why do cops kill?
Are they not taught to maim or slow down someone running
or reaching for a weapon?
If not, why not?
Why do cops kill first and ask questions last?
Why are police officers being military trained?
What can we as citizens, taxpayers, and voters do to stop these
killings and beatings of unarmed people?
Why do we let this continue?
How many more must die or get beat up before we realize
something is wrong and needs to be changed?
Will you, a friend, or a family member have to be killed or beaten
by a cop before we realize that things have to change?
Who’s here to protect us from the cops when they decide to use
excessive force, shoot multiple shells, and/or murder us?”
― Obiora Embry
A friend David Miller M.ED is making some moves in the front lines, just wanted to share his insight in our fight.
Just returning from a diving trip in Mozambique, South Africa. The trip was nice.
I give you the Mozambican Channel
Most people respond, “You just came back from diving in SouthAfrica and the trip was “nice“…that’s it?!” Let me explain, I had high expectations for the diving but unfortunately our club visited Tofu Beach during the winter season. The visibility and cold water wasn’t something I anticipated but more importantly I couldn’t equalize during my dives so I stopped diving for most of the week. During our stay about the 3rd day, I realized that I hadn’t left the beach area and I could have easily been in Cozumel, Puerto Rico or Jamaica if I had not left the beach. I felt like I hadn’t really appreciated Africa. I wanted to touch and feel Africa. So I rented an ATV for a while and ventured out in the countryside. I saw things the made me appreciate how great Africa is, the humility and greatness of the continent is something that changes you. It’s hard to understand or describe but it’s an energy that is significant, massive, present and humble. People have always told me that when you visit Africa it changes you. It does change you but it’s not overwhelming, it’s great and subtle at the same time, but it’s there.
Soccer with kids on Tofo Beach
During my stay the local street vendors would hassle the visiting divers to buy bracelets, necklaces, etc. It’s not fair to say hassle but if you travel, it’s just part of the experience. I got into a conversation with several of the young men, and I started mentoring, go figure. Any way I met George, Anton, Christoff, and Pedro.First, I told them, “You guys all have the same bracelets! You have to put Tofo Beach, or Mozambique on the bracelets. Remind people of where they visited, change it up a bit. You with the cashew nuts, as soon as the divers get out of the water, offer them a bag. The divers won’t have any money on them but they’ll be hungry. Get the money from them later.” We had a good time talking and chilling out. We played some soccer on the beach, I was now in Africa! I met a bunch of kids but something about Pedro got my attention.
Vendors
Pedro Vasco Milice Jije:
The next day I met up with Pedro. He walked up and pulled me to the side and showed me the bracelets he made. He did exactly what I said and made bracelets with Tofo Beach, Mozambique, and Inhambane. Wow…I was like, “Nice! You listened to me.” He smiled and I hooked him up. We talked for a while and I knew we had a bond. Something in the way he listened and asked questions. I no longer felt like a tourist or visitor of Africa, he gave me a small purpose on the continent.
I think he said he was 21 years old and the 10th grade. I’m not sure if I got something wrong or there is a different system of education I’m unaware. He speaks English, Bitonga, Portuguese, Sissoua and Sagana. His hobby is playing soccer on the beach and he likes Rick Ross. We both like to watch UFC and we both want to be mechanics, funny. Pedro has 3 brothers and 4 sisters. I can say we talked for a bit. The next day he had a same humble demeanor and he smiled a little harder when I complimented him on his fly haircut. He wished he could visit the US and I told him I would see what I could do. I could try to sponsor him or something. It was a sour departure because of my new buddy. He said, “Don’t forget about me.”
Pedro and me
I left Africa with new experiences; seeing lions in the wild killing a giraffe, flying down the fastest and highest zipline in the world, seeing a whale shark, a manta and a breaching whale. Most importantly I’ll have memories of my buddy “Pedro the mechanic”.
Kudzi giving a presentation on island Guidnane
So yes I visited Africa and the experience humbled me. I was humbled by the great friendships and connections made; Tawanda the soap stone artist, Ernesto from Tofo Scuba eatery, Bitonga divers Paulo, Adamu, Kudzi from Guidnane island. (The first female diver from Mozambique and 1 of 2 females in Africa), and Emmanuel the gardener in Soweto.
A video of us launching a boat off the beach for a dive:
There’s so much I could talk about but some things become a part of you that you can’t explain. I’ve inserted some pictures to tell the story. Ziplining in Sun City, meeting the Bitonga divers, Safari in Pilanesberg and sailing to Guidwane island.
Fastest and Highest in the world. If you haven’t ziplined in Africa…you haven’t ziplined.
Zipline starting point
Zipline ending point
Part of the beauty of life is sharing experiences becoming a better person because of them.
Casa Barry Worker
My circle feels like it’s expanded and there’s a deeper appreciation for my blessings. Now there’s an ever present concern for the state of the continent and the current exploitation. I will also miss my buddy Pedro Vasco Milice Jiji.
Middle Passage Mentor 